BLK Hair

BLK

So i've been coming into this place in myself and my life. It's a place inside myself that i've been... apprehensive to explore. Its a place, an important piece of who I am that I have covered. My blackness. I've watched new stores and read article after article about black men and I allowed myself to become scared, of myself. 

Tonight I finished getting my hair done in micro braids. It's a step towards the locs which i've desperately loved yet denied myself for some time. I've been afraid that having locs wont be received well. Work specifically. I think that socially it'd be freeing for me. anyway, i'm gonna give this hair a good run. see how much I like it. Till next time. 

JCR

Feb 20th Dream 2 - My old Daycare

I experienced two dreams that night. After the first ended I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling with my Stuffed build a bear dog, Pete, in my arms until I fell asleep again. 

The next dream I had was just as interesting and off beat. I was hanging out with friends again in what was another real life childhood setting of mine. Jesse, John, Tyler and myself. We were on theodore wirth parkway walking around the neighborhood. It was bright and sunny that day. We were talking down the street towards my old daycare providers house just enjoying the day. As we can to an intersection and crossed the street, we suddenly noticed that there was a wild Turkey in front of us. Jesse immediately averted and went the opposite direction with myself but Tyler for some reason wanted to get closer. After i'd ran half way down the block with Jesse we turned around and Tyler was standing right next to the turkey, We shouted down the block for him to come on cause we wanted nothing to do with the wild animal in the city. Tyler obliged but the turkey started to follow him down the street towards us. We all stared shouting for him to run. 

The next thing I know is that we are coming out of some bushes and we'd made it to my day care providers house. There was so many people there all standing in the street, in her lawn, on the sidewalk, everywhere.  Also noted that everyone was in black and white. They didn't match, they just simple were all in black and white. everyones outfit was different. i couldn't make out their faces tho, it was like something out of a Sia video.

I finally saw ANNE, My daycare provider, except she didn't look like herself at all when she turned around. She looked and sounded like my mother. I ran up to her and gave her a big hug. Her braided ponytail caught a tug from me squeezing so tight. I made a comment about how she was still wearing her hair like that after i'd braided it so long ago. She was extremely happy to see me and said lets go in the house and catch up. We started walking towards her home and half way across the street, I woke up. 

Feb 20th, 2017 Dream 1

I have been having very vivid dreams lately since i've been away from home the last two weeks. In fact they are so vivid that I don't realize its a dream until I wake up. I have made a number of lifestyle changes in the past few months that could be hugely contributing to this. For example i'm not spending every night drinking with friends, thats clearly had an effect on my ability to reach REM. I also have tightend up the reigns on smoking habits in the past few weeks. I officially have a list of reasons written down for myself as to why I'd like to quit. I know that its not an overnight process and I don't expected to be beating myself up should I slip up. I need to learn to be less critical of myself when things don't go the way that i'd originally hoped. 

Anyway back to this specific dream I had last night. I don't remember all the details but here's what i've got. I have two dreams that I remember bits and pieces of. The first dream I was in my old childhood basement of 4600 Newton ave south. It was myself Zach Bjorlin, Jonny Lovee and Later Tim Balfanz. Zach and I were sitting on a chair together and doing something at a very old school desktop computer. Pretty sure its the exact one we actually had when I lived at that address as a kid. Anyway, the screen was black and I was sitting on zachs left left leg, he had his around my waist as though Id fall off or something. We are just making mindless chatter. 

Suddenly Johnny appears around the corner, we pull back the curtain to let him into the space and he leans against the wall and starts to talk to us. it was all very casual, almost as tho we lived there together. According to the dream we didn't because once we reached the other side of the curtain, I found that we were with Tim Balfanz who was packing his bags for yet another, vacation. Heading off to Mexico and we made small talk about how long he'd be gone. I mentioned having shared a room with my brother in Mexico one time when we went and how much fun we had. He finished packing and I woke up.

Time Passes

The waves, they crash into my shins.
The sunlight beams upon my face.
The sand beneath my feet I feel
begins to dissipate.
The space between each wave it brings,
The chance anew to brace.

Fire in the sky, kisses the horizon.
She no longer has time to play.
Making way to bring the night
A new chapter, then a new day.
The wind has found its strength again
filling up my sails.
The once calm and forgiving waves
prepare to tell their tale.

The once receded tide
has now risen with ambition.
Taking back which is its own
The sound is unforgiving.

"I am here to stay!" he shouts
and everyone will listen.
Do not forget who gave you power.
Do not forget who gave you permission.
I beg you heed my warning
You dare not stand in my way
My surface will bamboozle you
My undertow will sweep you away.

The moon claims the sky
The sun is laid to rest.
This shore belongs to me
A fact you must not neglect.

Just a few more sirens
No light left to be shone.
Sit back and watch in awe my strength
or bear the wrath to come.

This land is my home
He orates it one last time
should you elect to ignore this consult
All that you will find
That your souls' forever
lost is darkness
There is no more time.